Fanfarlo - "Shiny Things"

So, I've decided to dedicate this week, and maybe more to nifty music videos. That is all.

Moral Ambiguity and the "Justice" System

Sometimes I wonder if there aren't just as many victims of the so-called justice system as there are of actual criminals.

I heard recently about a man who drove trucks for a living. Just a normal average dude. One day he was out driving; he was on a hill and his brakes went out on him causing him to crash into a car killing the people inside. The charge, which was originally vehicular manslaughter, was bumped up to, get this, murder.  They ruled that since he hadn't checked his brakes, he was acting in reckless disregard for the safety of others on the road, and was therefore guilty of murder.

I understand that it was a horrible tragic accident, but as far as anyone is concerned this man wasn't malicious, or acting consciously in any way. Now, because of something that was largely out of his control, he's being sent to prison for a very long time with actual violent criminals.

I also heard about a young woman who was driving, not speeding, and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of her, causing it to explode. She's now doing two years in prison for felony manslaughter. A lot of rapists do less time than that.

These people will spend the rest of their lives atoning for the small mistakes they made that led to terrible consequences.  They aren't inherently bad people.  They didn't act in any way that was consciously or intentionally harmful to any other person, but now they are branded with the "criminal" title, forced to face a life of social stigma. It will be harder for them to get jobs, find lovers, live a truly normal life, all because of a tiny mistake that set off a domino effect that completely turned their entire lives upside down.

Far be it from me to say what they deserved to get, but I feel like the punishments they're facing are too harsh, especially when there are actually truly malicious people out there who deserve to be in our, already overcrowded, prison system.

I wonder about these so-called criminals' families, and how they're affected...

Tragic.

Just a thought...

I Want to Cry

I am shaking and nauseated. I feel like I've entered this forbidden place that I should never have seen...It's like reading a book that I know the ending to, but it's someone else's life...through their own eyes.  I feel dirty, and a bit voyeuristic. I'm heartbroken in a way, but not for myself. Can you actually be too overwhelmed with emotion to be able to cry?

What a mess.

Ode to a Croton

I have this little plant with red and green and yellow leaves, and it's really quite pretty. Or it was.

Sometimes I forget to water it for a week...or two weeks at a time. It's leaves grow dry, and start to crack and wilt. Then I water it, and I can see the leaves perk up before my very eyes, like magic. It's strange to see a plant respond so positively so quickly to just a little bit of love and care. I worry, though, that all the harm and neglect I put this little plant through will eventually cause it to give up and die. Living things are only but so resilient.

A Croton like my little plant (Source: cowtownplanet.com) 

Today I noticed my plant drooping and wilting. I hadn't watered it in...god knows how long. So, I poured some water into its pot, and within just a few minutes it was starting to perk up.

It was then that I remember being told that talking to plants can help them grow. Whether it's the exposure to extra carbon dioxide, or whether plants get lonely too...no one REALLY knows, but it seems to work. I stooped over the plant and began to speak to it. At first it was just,"Hi plant, how are you?" But I realized that if the plant answered my question there would be bigger problems at hand. So, I apologized to it for being so neglectful. I felt sad for treating the only living thing that I was responsible for besides myself without any thought or kindness or respect. I don't know if plants have feelings, but if they do, I know how mine would have felt. I talked to it for probably longer than I reasonably should have, confiding in it some of the things that have been on my mind lately, and it felt good to finally say some of those things out loud to something that wouldn't judge, not just me, but anyone.

I Want to Write...but Don't Know How?

My mind is overactive.  Sometimes I can't just think about one thing long enough to write a blog post about it.  In the past several days I have thought of...a BAJILLION topics I could possibly write about; all of them personally interesting to me (and that I have been thinking about a lot), but I'm just too ADD to get them out in a cohesive fashion.

Now, I know I'm not a bad writer. I may even be interesting and engaging. Likable? Well, that has yet to be seen. So, how do I create a blog that people want to read, because god knows people don't want to just read the random musings of a twenty-something...or do they?

Here are some topics I was considering writing about in the future. Perhaps you can comment and let me know what topics you would be most interested in reading about from good ol' Sam's perspective?:

-What Is/ How to Identify an Abusive Relationship

-How to Dress Fashionably Without Spending a Ton of Money on New Clothes Every Six Months

-My Personal Spiritual Beliefs (because you care)

-Awesome Music and How To Find It

-Reviews of Neat Places in Portland

-Discussions of my Travels (This will happen. I am going to Pennsylvania this weekend and Alaska at the end of June. YAY!)

-Self-Esteem/Depression/Mental Illness, and How it Affects Relationships

-Terrible Writers on the Internet

-Awesome/Inspirational Blogs That I Have Read

-Great Books and How They've Affected Me

-Marriage (my feelings on it and how it has affected me)

Anything else you want to read? This blog is a work in progress...It will get better. I swear... (Gee, I've heard that before.)

Racist Shit Still Happens, And It Needs To Stop

I has come to my attention recently that one of my friends who is beautiful, intelligent, strong-willed, and talented, has actually been told by boys (and they ARE boys, not men) that they,"just don't like black girls." Oh, yeah! She just so happens to be black! Not only is this completely fucking racist, but it's also bullshit.

There are beautiful people of every race, just as there are unattractive people of every race. I am willing to bet that those guys think that Beyonce, Halle Berry, and Naomi Campbell are gorgeous and desirable, and they definitely wouldn't turn them down just because they were black. In fact most guys of ANY race would jump at the chance to be with any of those women (except Maybe miss Campbell, because I hear she's not so pleasant. She is, however, fucking gorgeous.).

There are plenty of reasons to turn down someone's romantic propositions, and some of them may include attractiveness. No one deserves to be in a relationship with someone they aren't attracted to.  However, none of these reasons should ever include race. "I just don't like black/asian/white/hispanic women," is NOT a good excuse for turning someone down because race doesn't necessarily have bearing on what makes a person beautiful inside or out.

A Weird Way to Express My Love for Men

I know I said I would maintain a blog, but the truth is that I got a little distracted. Most of you who know me well know that, in spite of it not always being the best idea, when I'm in a romantic relationship, maintaining it takes up most of my positive, creative energy. I guess I'm just not so great at multi-tasking.  The thing is that having positive and well-maintained interpersonal relationships makes me happier than anything else (and, frankly, I'm not even very good at that).  For some people it's golf, or horses, or fishing, or travel, but for me it's people. I guess you could say that my hobby is love....

Tonight I was sitting around, not sleeping, filled with a strong sense of emotional discomfort and dread. Sick-to-my-stomach dread. The kind that's unshakable. So, I thought I would write about something that I have realized before, but has fully ingrained itself in my mind of late.

Men are WAY more complicated than the world at large makes them out to be, and not always in a bad way.  I've noticed that media in general (though, advice columns are the worst culprit here, and so that's pretty much what I'm attacking) tend to paint men as these simple creatures who live to watch "The Big Game" and bang females and...well, that's it!  Uh...but people! They're human beings! This means that they can have a WIDE range of varying interests that have nothing to do with sports (though, most people probably include sex in their interests). So, where are the advice columns for girls dating geologists? Or musicians? Or programmers? Or linguists? Or dancers? Or puppet enthusiasts? Seriously though, it's like someone who spends all their time and energy doing something like playing video games is an addict and a geek.  But someone who compulsively watches every single Red Sox game of the season is engaging in healthy male behavior and should be rewarded with acceptance. Not cool. I'll tell you something, if men REALLY were as simple as they're made out to be, I wouldn't have relationship problems. I would also be totally bored out of my mind (this could also be because I like smart people).  Men are just as weird, and insane, and complicated, and messed up as women are, just in different ways. I don't understand them. They drive me insane. Sometimes I even hate them all. And that's what keeps it all interesting. So, please, World, GIVE THEM MORE CREDIT!